The Two Faces of Nothing On

First of all, let me say that I'm very glad I don't have daughters because I would not want to pass my body image issues onto another female soul. But as friends have helpfully pointed out, my boys will also be affected by how I perceive myself; it may impact how they perceive women or even their own bodies. So I'm not off the hook for learning to love myself. Darn.

I've had a couple of opportunities to be in minimal-clothing environments lately, and they were radically different experiences in terms of how they left me feeling. Our Mexican resort vacation provided many opportunities to see bodies on display, mostly in very tiny bikinis or briefs. The amount of sun-burnt flesh we observed was overwhelming at times... not only on the beach and by the pool but in the restaurants and bar areas. I found that it left me feeling yucky... about myself and about being human. Am I just anti-body, I wondered. Do I need to lighten up or let loose?

I spent this past weekend at the cottage with six other women from my "coven" - and two babies! A few of us constructed a make-shift sauna outside. Partially or not at all clad, we enjoyed the steamy heat inside the sauna - a stark contrast to the frigid temperatures outside those thin walls. I loved being with other women in this way, and the experience left me feeling good and comfortable in my skin.

I found myself wondering later about this difference. I think the main factor has to do with display. While the resort had a meat-market feel, our simple little sauna was just for us. Tiny bathing suits are a sex symbol and are meant to highlight the body for consumption. Complete nudity, or simply being wrapped in a towel has a different effect. The body is not so overlaid with cultural expectations or social roles... it's just in its natural state.

Anyways, I don't need to overtalk the point, but it did make me realize, once again, how few images of regular naked people are available out there. Almost all nudity is sexualized in this culture, and anyone who doesn't fit into the Playboy Bunny ideal (which is all of us, most of the time) is mocked. Do I want my boys to grow up with such limited ideas about the human body and sexuality? What am I going to do?

Friends have suggested taking the family to a nude beach, but I'm not sure that I'm personally ready to shed my clothes in public. I've thought about creating some kind of book portraying normal people in the buff or perhaps there's something already out there. In the meantime, I continue to bathe with my two lovely boys and hopefully normalize the naked human body in the process. Oh, and I've made up a little musical ditty that I sing to the boys. The words shift a bit everytime I sing it, but you'll get the point...

Addie has a bantam body
A beautiful creamy white body
An active little toddler body
As sweet as a body can be, can be
As sweet as a body can be.

Bennie has a cherub body
A chubby dubby angel body
A squeezable huggable body
As sweet as a body can be, can be
As sweet as a body can be.

And Mommy?

Mommy has a lovely body
A soft and comforting body
A beautiful middle-aged body
As sweet as a body can be, can be
As sweet as a body can be.

(Boy, was it ever hard to be that nice to myself! I'll keep working on it.)